Allison gets serious

Ok, so, I don't really have much to say. What happened this morning at Virginia Tech was horrible and unbelievable, and it really makes me wonder about what the hell is going on. Over thirty people are dead and already the finger-pointing begins about guns. I am firmly anti-gun, I hate violent movies (meaning any violence), I can't understand the popularity of horror movies (who likes to watch people in pain?). I can see how all of these cultural factors promoting violence contribute to actual violence in our society. But while what happened today might become some sort of rallying cry or policy statistic, the fact is that whoever did this was mentally ill and did not get the help he needed. (I assume it's a guy.) I hope this finger-pointing turns into reaching out.


On a different, but still what-the-hell note...One of my recent pet peeves in my rounds of watching religious blogs is the focus on modesty. Even the Gazette-Times ran an article the other day about an LDS modest prom. Don't get me wrong, people can do whatever or wear whatever they want, and promote their own rules and regulations about sleeve and skirt length and distances for dancing. What gets stuck in my craw is how often the modesty talk turns into anti-woman talk. Basically, women cause men to sin, so we should carefully monitor everything we do lest we accidentally turn some guy on.

Ugh. I was just going to let you explore this link, but I have to add my editorial comments. So, the gist is this: a religious website surveyed young women for clothing choices or behaviors that the women thought might be immodest. Young men then commented on these different suggestions. Responses were tabulated for each statement, so "a woman wearing any sort of jeans is immodest" is then ranked from strongly disagree to strongly agree. Click on each category to see more.

Here are some comments to get you started, on the statement "It is a stumbling block to see a girl lying down, even if she's just hanging out on the floor or on a couch with her friends."

19	Again a lot depends on what she's wearing, exactly how she's lying, the atmosphere of the situation, and the state of mind of the guy observing her, but there is a very real possibility (perhaps probability) that it could be problematic, especially if the guy is already attracted to the girl.
Age 26	Just be careful what is now showing because of the unnatural position. Tops can be seen down, skirts can be seen up, and even in pants the crotch or bottom can become more visible. The position isn't immodest in itself, but I think can create a lot of other problems. Just be careful.
Age 26	Depends on the context - but in most situations she probably shouldn't be lying down when guys are around.
Age 18	I think there should be a careful evaluation on the part of the girl before lying down around a bunch of guys. However, in terms of the inherent modest/immodesty of the action, I can't say it is a stumbling block by itself. In certain clothes, however, it would be a clear, 100% problem.

I mean, do I even have to say anything?!?! Come on! I am supposed, as a woman, to take this sort of direction from a guy five years younger than me? No lying down in front of a bunch of guys? It gets worse.

I could go on and on about this. It doesn't matter what women wear; in our sexist, misogynistic society women will be demeaned for their bodies. I've been catcalled in my grungiest, most "modest" clothes. I will not change my actions under the specter of "modesty" when it really is control of women. If we were talking real modesty - not bragging, or gossiping, or using our looks to get ahead, or using people, or buying expensive clothing, or big, gas-guzzling cars, or trying to get high-flying corporate jobs, or make the most money, or manipulate people - I could go for it. This sort of modesty applies equally to all genders and is the basis for good human relationships. It's modesty in a true sense - humilty, sense of the common good over self. But this modesty that focuses on women's clothing and behavior - it's really about control over others.

Anyhow, check it out and tell me what you think:

http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/